6 days, 225 km and 15500 vertical meters - in about a week I leave for my solo ski transalpine tour. I will start on 29th of March in Oberstdorf and should end up in Meran on April 3rd.
The past 8 weeks I spent any time possible in the huts in Tyrol and the Dolomites, home office became “alp office” :) and I wore my
ski boots / running shoes more often than normal shoes :)
70 km running, 100 km ski touring, painful hours of black rolling and yoga are my current weekly routine.
I was working very hard improving my technical skills, fitness and mental stability. This preparation also led to a very strict diet to get my body to the fittest possible. (Detailed workout and food plan can be shared on request).
The six days during the tour I will completely “stay” on the mountains. No stop at huts, sleeping under the stars and carrying all my gear, food, clothes and "bed".
This experience will be filmed by myself with a GoPro and the film might be shown at the start of the exhibition (depending on the outcome :) )
I'm very excited to be at the place on earth where I feel most alive. I thought a lot whether I should do this or not, about the risks, what could happen and so on... but in the end, always the same question came to my mind (and sorry it is in German but I just don't want to translate something beautiful like this).
"Wenn nicht in diesem Leben... wann dann?"
I am only able to do all this because of my wonderful mother.
"Mami, thanks for helping me becoming a strong, fearless and independent woman.
You showed me that it is more than ok being different, not always fitting in but always being authentic. I really didn't want to become anyone else than I am right now.
Thanks for being my role model, showing me that the only fear in life is regret, teaching me the right things about honesty, truth, happiness and especially love.
Thank you for believing in me and telling me that I make you proud, also thank you for showing me how to fight and the fact that you gave me the ability to always think positive.
Thanks for always supporting my decisions even if they sometimes doesn't make sense to you in first place, thanks for holding my hand when I have a broken heart and thanks for telling me it is ok to break an engagement because the heart is not a 100% with it. Thanks for showing me what I deserve as a woman and giving me light in the darkest nights.
Thank you for showing me what it means to be a loyal, caring and loving partner in a relationship / marriage, even in hard times you have never lost a bad word. You are the reason why I'm not afraid to bring up / talk about hard topics in a relationship or friendship.
It is never easy but I can do it without fear.
I will always remember what you said to a friend about love and being a single mum of three…
"A divorce isn't such a tragedy, a tragedy is staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love…" This is what you have done 18 years ago.
You do not only use words you also act like those.
I know you have sleepless nights and rough days when I climb mountains and spend the days out there but you have never stopped me from doing it, just because you know how happy it makes me.
You are such a selfless person and you think more about others than yourself, you showed me what respect is and how to treat people.
Because of you I don't know the feeling of "revenge" or don't want to give back
people the things they did to me.
I thank you, that I got your forgiving heart but also
the wisdom to know when to give someone the last chance.
Because of you I am able to make decisions and don't be too afraid of consequences - you support me regardless - even if you know it better from the beginning.
Thank you for passing on your braveness and the fact I don't have to be afraid of anything.
Thanks for all the things you have done and still do for me, I admire you for your courage, your huge heart, your wisdom about live and the ability to love unconditionally.
I love the way you make me smile, our girls days, the trips we take, our conversation and trustful relationship we have. I wish everyone could experience such a strong woman as a parent but I am (and of course the other two :) are) the lucky one.
I even have to thank you that I got your super stubborn head, the fact that I never run out of arguments in a discussion (I like to have the last word :) ) and of course… the sulking… :)
Thank you for not just giving me your green eyes :) but also your strong personality. Thanks for passing on the passion for nature, animals and especially cooking / food and of course the love to naturopathy.
I know we haven't always been best friends and we had our rough times but the past doesn't matter anymore - only present counts.
I love you more than words can express. This is dedicated to you. Thank you Bausa"
I don't what will happen in the future but I wanted to have it written so people know about this wonderful woman I'm proud to call my mother.
Life is too short and time runs too fast, always keep that in mind.
This is the estimated route I will take. The very detailed one will be shared once I'm back since it will be recorded with the GPS.
Please understand that I have disabled the comment function. I really appreciate all your support, concerns, advices, skeptic reactions and worries but this is something I need to do and there is nothing left to say.
I’m very well prepared, physically as well as mentally, my gear has been checked and “approved” by specialists and I have considered most of the possible risks and there are “back up plans” in case something happens.
You gave me words of affirmation, some of you also showed me that you don’t understand at all and even some were actually very rude but I am still thankful for any reaction.
I really do think about the things you tell me - but in the end it is my decision because it is my life - and you need to accept it.
Impressions from one of my last ski tour trainings sessions.
Sunset at it's best… makes me think of you.
Since it got so many e-mails regarding my gear please find some of the current one below.
LVS: PIEPS micro BT
Backpack: Osprey Kamber 42
https://www.petzl.com/DE/de/Sport/PERFORMANCE-Stirnlampen/NAO-PLUS -> used for ski touring
https://www.petzl.com/DE/de/Sport/ACTIVE-Stirnlampen/ACTIK-CORE -> used for basic stuff as trail running, hiking, camping etc.
I usually bring my two Canon cameras with kit lens and a Sigma lens 18-200mm, for filming I use a GoPro Hero 7 black and a light weight tripod
A few impressions from my last training tour.
I took two hours on top of the summit in the freezing cold, just to sit there, enjoy the loneliness, try to rest my mind and be thankful for this experience. I have never taken any of those moments for granted, especially not after the last medical diagnosis.
No one knows how much time we really have in this world, it could (or better said - should) go for quite a bit but it could also end within the next second.
We don't believe this - ending up within the next second - will happen to us, because the odds are high and therefore we still spend time on things and people we don't actually like or love, until we have to realize it is too late...
Our life here is precious, rare and unique, we should keep this in mind - every day.
We all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize we only have one.
90 km wilderness, brisk winds, snow storms and cold but cozy nights.
Perfect days to spend outside, enjoying the loneliness and trying to clear my mind.
At night, I was listening to the snow storm and many thoughts and emotions came to mind,
the once I avoided the past weeks, because I thought if I would just wait long enough they would disappear.
But I realized that waiting - and just waiting - is a waste of time.
Especially if you know that many changes require the effort of certain people...
and you know they are just not born to fight...
so they wait... and waste time.
All week for Friday
All year for summer
All life for happiness
Unfortunately I was not able to take many pictures due to the very bad weather conditions on day two and three. Nevertheless a few impressions below. (Including the mandatory "I'm ok" selfie for my Mami :) )
Since I got so many requests from you guys, if my photos are also available as "real" art, I'm very happy to let you know that I can now offer the photos printed on canvas, acryl glass, poster a.s.o.
Unfortunately the online shop is not live yet (technical gaps) but you can request an offer via the contact form on the website.
The printing will be done by a local print office in South Bavaria and 25% of the earning of each piece of art will be donated to charity.
How it works:
Below please find some examples. Please note those are NOT available immediately but can be created for you.
31.12.2018 - Last sunrise of the year
Probably the toughest year I have had so far. A lot of ups but even many more downs.
I thought a lot about what to write and how to recap this year but as soon as I read what I wrote about the past, I had to hit the DEL button.
I'm not ready... not ready to go through all this again, not ready to face the pain, not ready to write it down, because for me, reading it means realizing it. Maybe at some point I will be able to write it all down but maybe I won't, and keep it all for myself.
Despite the tough times, I'm still grateful for what I have, the lessons I have been taught and all the moments I was allowed to experience in 2018. Cheers to these rays of hope and thank you.
Happy New Year.
"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory"
Some of my favorite pictures and memories of 2018.
...from my world to yours.
...from life, trying to hide from the truth, even if we are aware that reality comes back faster than we think.
Denying the things we already know and pretending to know better, to believe everything will be ok at some point, trying to fix things that are beyond repair and living in a lie.
Because we don't want to think about the future and the fact that we already know, truth will overtake someday...
"Fear is temporary, regret is forever"
Pictures taken on the way to the "Großglockner" Started with amazing weather and ended up in an ice storm. Nevertheless an amazing experience.
... to my best friend. Just one more mountain, one more conversation, one more day...
There is so much left to say but no words.
I thought we would have more time...
Stefan 1977 - 2018
Spending the last days in "heaven" and doing the things I love the most,
before I have to go back and face reality.
I will be off for a few weeks due to a health issue, hopefully to be back soon...
"Hope is the only thing stronger than fear"